1. I enjoy torture. Why else would I be a teacher? I also enjoy the art of being tipsy. Yes- I said art. There is a fine line between sobriety and the drunk tank at your local jail. I strive to walk that line.
2. Sometimes in the morning- I wash around my eye make up. I don’t care what you say- my eyelashes look good and it takes far too much time to wash and reapply.
3. Dry eraser markers are the biggest waste of money. The black ones write grey in mere hours and their smell is just another way for the kids to get high.
4. I used to use a batman slide as a cigarette lighter when I was 9. It was a premonition of my future smoking years but thankfully my mother didn’t catch on.
5. I worry that my biological clock hasn’t started ticking yet. But I’m never jealous of my friends who can’t go out on a Friday night because the have a bump in their belly.
6. We must immediately implement a screening process for parenting. Not everyone is qualified. Period.
7. I know the other car can’t hear me cuss them out through their windows, but I do it anyway… to Canadians, old people, and anyone who obtained their license through one of those chargemefucking50cents now vending machines.
8. I’m thankful I don’t live in Indiana. Those hoosiers don’t have happy hour! Claims it “promotes binge drinking” WTF is up wit dat?!
9. I take a big issue with the fat ass that tells me she is trying to lose weight while holding a sack of chips and pounding back a two liter. Drop the calories and give me 20.
10. People say I have no tact and should hold my true thoughts in more often. Hmmph, if only they knew…
11. I break rules and I do it often.
